Still in Gila NF and the story of my some good, but mostly very bad day

On Earth day we Marched for Science in Silver City, NM. From the facebook page we expected a small turnout, 12 people were confirmed. We arrived and the total tallied was 151 people, not bad for a small city. The walk here was short, only 3/4 of a mile from the WNMU to Gough park. At Gough park we wandered through the vendors for the Earth day celebration. I should mention Nick. He was the go to man for the March. He was a high energy fireball, apparently the guy for first aid, and all your stapler or duck tape needs. He had an army backpack that was stuffed with who knows what. He also carried a ham radio, and what I guessed to be 6 multi-tools clipped to the inside of his right pocket. He was funny and very excited to be at the march. (We have since seen him every day we've been in town)

After the March we wandered downtown to pick up a few things. It just so happened to be Tour of the Gila here in Silver City. Part of the road was blocked off for a timed loop the cyclists were doing. We arrived for what seemed to be the most exciting race of the day (per the announcer). We hung around and watched the cyclists loop around with one lead that kept his position and even added time between himself and the pelaton in the last lap. It was fun to get caught up in the event.

From there we headed back out to the woods. We did a long drive on a dirt road to a trailhead for a backpacking trip the next day. The road we took had not been maintained. We ended up moving 5 trees. The first we dragged, and I hurt my lower back a little despite trying to be careful. The next two we wrapped a jerk strap around the tree and dragged it out of the way. One we moved using a steel pipe as a lever and the last we was small and Matthew just dragged out of the way. Good times. We prepped for backpacking and for dinner made ash cakes and fried spam, a delicacy in the woods.

 He loves this stuff

 Had to drag this for a while to get it out of the way

 He's so strong... I ended up doing some of the lifting with the steel bar too

 Last obstruction

 Dinner! 

The plan was to spend 3-4 days out. With a possible loop in mind, should we make good time. The trail ran along the Gila river. This meant more river crossings. This time I wore my new mesh trail runners with no socks and had little trouble with the crossings. Matthew had his leather shoes, not wanting to get them wet repeatedly he took them off for crossings. So this time I was the quick crosser! As a result we did not make much headway on the trail. It took half a day to go a few miles. It also lacked a trail most of the time, we kept going just following deer paths, bushwaking and keeping the river in sight, occasionally finding a cairn which showed we were on the right path, at that moment at least. We stopped because his feet were hurting. We picked a nice spot in the sand near the water. Matthew wanted to try a neat method to keep warm where you dig a deep hole, start a fire, get good coals then cover with the dirt and sleep on it. Done right you have a cozy warm spot to sleep, done wrong you could burn your gear.

Digging for his fire pit

Prepping coals

The next day went much the same as the previous. We picked out a different, shorter, loop to get back. Part of the loop we were unsure would have water. It went up a canyon that had a spring at the opposite end. We saw no water where we were starting. We camped and loaded up and water, hoping to find some along the canyon, but with enough we would be ok to make it back to the car. We woke early the next morning to get moving on what we expected to be a long day.. and not fully knowing what to expect.

Lunch break by the river

And here is the story of my some good, but mostly very bad day. The trail we were to take along the canyon did not exist, at all. No cairns, no paths, no sign of markers on trees. The map showed it as a trail but that was it. We bushwhacked through rocky terrain, thorny bushes and clambering over fallen trees. It took several hours to go a few miles.. I don't know exactly how long it was but I was in a skirt. At first I thought it wouldn't be too bad, except it kept getting worse. I have this... personality trait, that I don't like to back out of things if I feel I can go on. I was physically able to continue to I did, but Matthew could tell I was not happy. I have this other... personality trait, when I'm upset I become very irrational. I'm aware of this and to keep from saying something I will regret I shut down, don't say anything or very little. So even though I was on the verge of tears and thinking I was going to break up with Matthew because he was to blame, when he asked how I was doing, I said I was fine. The thing was... the thorny bushes were ceaseless devils... small nicks that kept coming. I was reminded of the torture method of using small paper cuts. that's what it felt like, being tortured, becoming more sensitive, so that my spirit was being crushed.

I tried to stay positive and be thankful for my legs, for the fact that I could feel. That only helped for a short time. At one point when Matthew was far enough ahead to not be able to see me, I broke, I held myself and didn't hold back the sobbing. It was a mixture of pain and frustration. The route was hard, keeping my footing was tricky. I slipped, and fell over, the earth gave way under me while trying to climb, branches I relied on snapped and I got scratched some more. It was miserable. Probably the worst day I've had in a very long time. The thing is.. it was all physical and although it hurt... I was not seriously injured. I knew this intellectually but emotionally I felt beaten. I finally admitted to Matthew I had been crying (he wasn't surprised) and he was miserable too, but having experience with bushwhacking wasn't as beaten up as me.

We did find a way to bypass the end of the canyon which was continuing to get worse. To do this we did a very steep climb to the top of a mountain. Once almost at the top we hit some more thick brush, we avoided it by traversing around it. We had to go through some brush but it was not nearly as thick. Eventually on the way down the other side of the mountain we got out in some open pine forest. Elation. We found our way back to a trail and high-fived that going off the known route, we'd made it back to a trail. We'd made good time so that it was still early enough in the day we pushed on to make it back to the car. We were running low on water and didn't find any where there was supposed to be a spring. We could have stopped and camped but had the energy and drive to make it back to the car. We did stop shortly to eat dinner a little early.

View from the top of the mountain we climbed

We are not entirely sure how long the total distance was.. but the guesstimate is somewhere between 15-20 miles. Back at the car my first order of business was to lather my legs in comfrey salve. Even though we had water at the car it wasn't enough that I could wash my legs first... really I could and should have but I thought it was wasteful. So, instead I just rubbed the salve on, mixing it with the dirt and salt on my legs, into my wounds. I now know the burn of having salt in multiple scratches and cuts all over the lower half of my legs. I cried for the 5th time that day. Matthew, feeling awful and not knowing what else to do, made me tea. It was the best tea I've had all year. It took a couple of minutes but the burn gradually subsided and stopped. At the end of the day I was exhausted, I did a little reading of War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells as the sun was setting before falling into a very deep hard sleep.

 I already started to slather on the salve when we took photos

Just looking at this photo makes my legs burn 

If you are wondering where the some good of this day is.. The good was during all that treacherous terrain, we didn't get seriously injured, we bypassed some of it, it was a gorgeous day, I am blessed to be dating a wonderful man who understands me, we always had enough water, dinner was delicious, tea, a warm comfy bed, and the kind of sleep you only get with physical and emotional exhaustion. My scraps and deep cuts will heal, turn to small scars, most of which will fade completely away and I will be left with the memory of another struggle that I made it through.

We spent the following two days recovering. We got lucky and are here in time for the CDT trail days! So we are spending the weekend learning all about the CDT, meeting awesome thru hikers and getting excited about the idea of doing the AT, CDT, and PCT.. which is called triple crowning. I always wanted a crown lol

I think next we'll be in Cibola NF to do some rock climbing. Not sure yet, we're going to do some planning tomorrow or the next day.